There's more to life than words
by PurpleSnowstorm215
Summary: [Modern theatre(?) AU I guess.] In which Erik has a disease that destroys his vocal chords and his life is practically over. Cue Raoul, a dancer in the theatre who helps Erik deal with the inevitable loss of his voice. (Bad summary is bad. I am sorry.)


AN: This is ridiculously long, probably OOC and littered with mistakes. Hope you like c:

Disclaimer (because I forgot to put this on the other fics): I do not own Phantom of the Opera. The novel belongs to Gaston Leroux and the musical belongs to Andrew Lloyd Webber respectively.

* * *

When Erik is diagnosed his life is ruined.

He has a disease, there's no name for it since nobody can really figure out what it is but all he knows is that his life is ruined.

The disease is slowly destroying his vocal chords, meaning that eventually, he'll have to stop singing and than with time, he won't even be able to speak.

Singing is Erik's very reason for living; it's the only thing he can do that frees him from the stress of everyday life.

Hell, he's good enough that he's been noticed for his voice. He has just finally gotten the lead in a musical on Broadway when he's usually just in the chorus, a new rising star on the scene but it seems like his career is going to be cut short.

He'll have to fade back into the background, unable to perform anymore. Unable to follow the music anymore.

When Erik is diagnosed, his life stops completely.

* * *

The first time Erik noticed something was wrong was when he began to find it harder to sing. His voice would crack and he had no idea why. He would do all the vocal warm-ups and exercises that he could think of on the spot yet nothing helped. He figured that he most probably had a cold coming on since he usually lost his voice when he got ill.

Erik realised fully that something was definitely wrong when he didn't get ill yet his voice got worse.

* * *

Erik is forced to tell the theatre director what's happening to his vocal chords since Erik is beginning to find it harder and harder to sing. The director merely looks at him with such a sympathetic and pitying expression that makes Erik just want to crawl into a hole and disappear forever. The director knows that Erik will still want to be in the production so he decides to let Erik have a role in the chorus, so if his voice fails then no-one will notice unless they really pay attention.

The director and Erik decide on the decision to not let the other actors know so a big deal isn't made out of it. They come up with a valid excuse that Erik is getting ill so his voice is going and that he most likely won't get better in time for the production.

Erik wishes that this were true instead of what was actually happening to him.

* * *

On the first rehearsal for Erik being in the chorus, the director introduces him to one of the other dancers so he can help Erik with learning dance numbers. Erik has never really liked dancing all that much but he can do it and well, it's required of him to be in the production at all. He's still not looking forward to it though.

The dancer is a male with golden blonde hair that is tied back with a black ribbon and bright blue eyes whose name Erik learns, is Raoul. He seems too smiley and happy for Erik's taste and he knows that he'll probably get irritated and ditch the other male after about three rehearsals.

Of course Raoul seems confused over why Erik is suddenly in the chorus when he was meant to be a main part but he doesn't question it, probably deciding that it's a bad idea since Erik figures he seems moody and angry looking now. The lack of questions soothes Erik actually and makes him want to curl up and cry less.

For the rehearsal, while the rest of the chorus practise, Raoul just smiles at him and tries to teach Erik the dances to the first couple of numbers, probably hoping he'll be able to distract Erik from that whatever he seems so angry about. Erik does a fairly alright job of dancing and the small words of praise from Raoul make him feel a little better.

Erik appreciates the effort since he can tell the other male is really trying, even when he doesn't know what's wrong with Erik but it doesn't take his mind off the fact that he will eventually never be able to sing or even speak.

* * *

The next rehearsal goes better than the first one. Erik has begun to remember the dances and he is beginning to be able to keep up with Raoul when they go through the entire dance, just to see what parts of the dance Erik needs to go through again and practise. Erik still doesn't really like dancing all that much but he deals with it anyway.

The smiles and words of praise from the blonde make the rehearsals a little more bearable since the blonde smiles and speaks in such a way that it's practically impossible for Erik's mood not to improve.

However, when the rehearsal ends and everyone begins to go home, Erik painfully remembers about his voice.

* * *

Erik has began to be forced to go to hospital appointments so doctor's can work out what's wrong with him medically and whether they can fix it or not, meaning that he ends up missing out on rehearsals a lot.

Erik already knows that whatever's wrong with him is probably inoperable and has braced himself for when they eventually has no choice but to tell him. After all, there doesn't seem like much hope and he can tell the doctors are reaching for threads when they try to tell him positive things when he goes to the hospital to get any test results back.

Today, his appointment is early in the morning so he actually has time to attend rehearsal this time. When he gets there and Raoul sees Erik he quickly runs over, reminding Erik of an excited puppy although Raoul seems more worried than excited.

He asks where Erik's been for the past few weeks and Erik makes up a quick excuse, explaining that his mother had been extremely ill and that he was the only one who could take care of her and all that spittle.

Raoul doesn't look convinced but he says nothing more, choosing to fill Erik in on what he's missed so far in the rehearsals and any changes that have been made to the production.

At the end of the rehearsal, instead of saying his usual goodbye, Raoul invites Erik out to a bar for Friday night after rehearsals; just to hang out and get to know each other better, as friends of course.

Erik is quite surprised at the offer but says yes anyway. It's not like he has anything better to do.

* * *

After just hanging out after rehearsals, Raoul and Erik have become best friends.

Sort of.

Erik is still grumpy and Raoul does his best to make Erik smile but always fails. It doesn't matter since they've settled into a peaceful place of their friendship where Raoul knows when he's allowed to press Erik for why he seems upset at times and when he's going too far.

Erik has learned that Raoul is a sucker for cheesy Romance films and that he loves the sea for reasons that not even Raoul himself knows and that Raoul has a slightly concerning chocolate addiction _but it's fine because he's definitely handling it_.

The other actors have definitely noticed the development in their relationship and they seem to approve since Raoul somehow brings the best out of Erik. Even if he doesn't smile or laugh at Raoul's dumb jokes.

Erik still hasn't told Raoul about what's happening to his voice since it still seems a little too personal but he figures he will eventually. After all, there's only so much time he can put it off until he can't physically tell Raoul.

It doesn't change the fact that Erik has began to carry around a notebook and pen just in case something happens and his voice just goes completely.

* * *

When Erik finally tells Raoul what's wrong with him, Erik just blurts it out, completely random and out of the blue.

They're sat in a diner, having dinner together since rehearsals have been going on for longer as it's getting closer to opening night.

Raoul is talking about something that Erik isn't paying too much attention to and he figures that Raoul probably knows that he's not listening properly but Raoul just carries on anyway. Erik stares at the food on his plate, moving food around with his fork since his appetite is gone.

Today he was finally told that the doctors can't do anything to help him. That Erik is going to loose his voice for sure and there's nothing that can be done about it.

Erik blurts out his news, interrupting Raoul's story which he immediately apologies for but Raoul is too stunned to reply.

They have the awkward conversation of questions, Raoul asking if it's inoperable and what it is exactly Erik has even though he doesn't really know himself anyway. Erik tells Raoul about his disease, explaining what he can to the other male. When Erik finishes speaking he watches Raoul as the other male frowns, nibbling his lip as he thinks to himself. He remains silent for a good couple of seconds before he speaks,

"So… You're never going to be able to sing again…?"

Erik nods a slightly pained expression on his face before he manages to get his words out "I… Yes… I'm never going to be able to sing again. My career in Broadway is over and there's not much I can do about it I'm afraid."

Raoul looks at Erik sadly; as if Raoul is truly heartbroken over Erik's problem and not that the blonde just pities him. While Raoul stays silent, Erik carries on speaking "You know… I always figured I'd do Broadway. Work my way into it and follow along with the music I seem to constantly hear everywhere but… But I guess I can't now right? I have no idea what I'm going to do now. I guess I'm going to have to find a decent job now."

Raoul just blinks at him a little, as if Erik's words have given him an epiphany of sorts before he merely nods, the sad expression still on his face.

They sit in silence for a minute or so before Raoul quickly speaks, changing the topic as they easily fall into a conversation that is a complete contrast to their previous one.

Erik appreciates Raoul's attempt to make things normal for him but his heart clenches at the sad expression on Raoul's face.

* * *

Rehearsals continue like normal although Erik notices Raoul sneaking glances at him when he doesn't think Erik is looking.

It's beginning to bug Erik and it's making him feel more self-conscious than usual although he can't be bothered to force himself to speak to ask about it.

Come to think about it, he's been using the notebook a lot more lately as well.

He ignores the looks and carries on rehearsing. After all, opening night is next week and if Erik can't sing, he will damn well dance the best anyone's ever seen.

By the end of rehearsal Erik is sweating and breathing heavily but he feels much better than he has in a while. Raoul smiles at him and praises him for doing so well.

Erik's heart definitely does not skip a beat when Raoul smiles at him.

* * *

It's opening night and everyone has pre-show jitters.

No-one can keep still and everyone's moving around, checking that everything is going to plan and that everything is in order.

Erik isn't moving around like everyone else but he's still quite nervous. He's sat watching everyone else move about in the dressing room, only half listening to whatever Raoul is talking about next to him.

Everyone freezes when the director comes into the dressing room and announces that they're starting.

Erik swallows nervously and looks at Raoul, who is also turns to look at Erik. They smile at each other nervously before moving, getting ready to go on stage.

It's about halfway through the performance and something's wrong.

They're waiting for a scene to start and it's supposed to be a party but the lead male is missing. Everyone's on stage and waiting for the lead to come but there's something wrong. Erik looks around discreetly from his position near the back of the stage in the background. Everyone's discreetly looking at each other, unsure of what to do and the audience has begun to realise that something's wrong.

Erik swallows nervously as he waits, doing what he's supposed to do as a background character. A few seconds pass as everyone waits although it seems like centuries.

No-one knows what to do and it seems like no-one's willing to do anything.

The lead female looks nervous as she tries to look like there's nothing wrong and well, Erik feels quite bad for her.

Erik takes a deep breath before moving, noticing how his movement has attracted the attention of all the actors and the audience. He walks over to woman and smiles at her before offering his hand. She looks at him with a slightly confused expression before she realises what Erik is doing. She smiles back before taking his hand and Erik sweeps her into a dance, hoping to waste time until the male lead gets on stage.

It takes about two minutes of dancing until the lead gets here and they all handle it smoothly. He taps Erik on the shoulder who just steps away and back into the background, hoping that the audience's attention is on the two main actors in the center of the stage. He almost freezes as he makes his way back into where he started the scene when he hears clapping.

Erik almost falls over as he's walking when he realises that the clapping is for him, and he didn't even have to use his voice to get it.

* * *

Everyone is sat in the dressing room, sweating and panting from dancing and making the final number as extravagant as they could.

Everyone's been praising for his quick thinking during the performance and Erik is sure he hasn't had this much attention since when he got noticed for his singing. It seems that practising with Raoul has really paid off.

Erik smiles sheepishly as Raoul grins at him and pulls him into a hug, babbling on about how he saved the performance tonight and how proud Raoul is.  
Of course Erik just rolls his eyes and tells the other male to stop making such a big deal but he secretly has begun to like the praise when it's from Raoul.

Erik deals with the attention until everyone goes home and he's left with Raoul who is still packing his things up after helping everyone else. They decided to hang out and get something to eat since it's been a while since they've both eaten.

Erik is jolted out of his thoughts when he realises Raoul is standing in front of him. He smiles sheepishly at the blonde before blinking in surprise when suddenly there are warm lips against his. There is barely any pressure at all, the kiss wonderfully chaste and Erik notices how Raoul's lips are slightly chapped.

All to soon, Raoul pulls away. There is a dark red blush forming on his face which Erik thinks looks rather fetching before he grins as Raoul hurries out of the room, stammering about how they should really eat since they're both probably really hungry.

Erik smiles and follows after Raoul, silently chuckling to himself at Raoul's flustered attempts to act normal.

Erik decides that, maybe loosing his voice isn't as bad as he thought it would be.

* * *

AN: This is terrible and probably badly written aha.

I know nothing about theatre so if any terms and such in there are wrong, I apologise.

This felt kinda rushed and weird since it didn't want to become a multi-chap fic because of the amount of time-skipping but I like it and then I got lazy at the end...

Hopefully things will go better in the future.


End file.
